Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Home sweet 'homa

Emotions have been high around these parts lately. Retirement parties and well wishes. Spring concerts with proud moments. Tornadoes that ravaged many areas around us - too close for comfort. Memorial Day weekend and home videos {when I heard my daddy's voice and immediately started crying}. The prep to move into our new home and leave our temporary one with family. We have been pulled in many directions.

A little over a week ago {as almost everyone in the world now knows} tornadoes and other severe weather hit our home sweet 'homa. Being a born and bred Okie for almost 29 years now, I have come to know our skies and the atmosphere. I know when it looks and feels like tornadoes are a-comin' or just another old fashioned Oklahoma thunderstorm. However, in all of my years, this is the first time that I have felt the impact unlike any other. More than 1999. More than the one that hit Norman. More than the ones that have formed just miles away from me.  I have friends, former coworkers, and family of close friends that have been directly affected by something that causes so much harm in so little time.

I have cried. I have prayed. I have become more weary of the weather than I ever used to be; part because of the mama bear instinct and part because of the aftermath of this one. I have felt survivor's guilt - knowing people I know and love have not much left and here I am with all I have, prepping to move into a home, untouched. I have felt lucky and blessed. I have tried to spread the word and help in small ways - and hopefully will be able to do more soon.

It has felt somewhat silly even, going on about the regular day to day when just a few miles down the road people are dealing with their new normal for the next several months to even years. Being relocated not by choice- but because they have no other choice. I have even felt silly just feeling the way I feel, almost like I don't have the right to feel that way- just because the storm missed me.

And then, I think again. I do have the right to feel the way I am feeling. They are Okies just like me. Like so many have said lately- when it gets one of us - it gets all of us. My heart is with them- even when I'm physically not. It's just the way we're built.

And, with the emotions still running high from the storm, we entered Memorial Day weekend. Thoughts of those that have gone before us, those that have sacrificed all they have. Family members and friends. Ours was filled with just that - and some really good food. Because you can't have an American holiday without it.

So here's to new beginnings. To rebuilding. To the new. To the summer. And - to hopefully some calmer waters ahead for all us Okies.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


If mommyhood has taught me anything, it has taught me to expect the unexpected. To roll with it. To put on your happy face when you are tired, frustrated, sick- you name it. To laugh at it; especially in the hardest of times- the times when you'd rather cry than laugh. To cherish it; sometimes those unexpected moments are the purest joy and love you've ever felt.

Enter Mother's Day 2013. 
MC and I had been battling what seemed like sinus crud for most of the week leading up to Sunday. With a pesky low grade fever that would go away and come back, the hubs and I decided we were done trying to remedy at home and it was time to take her to the doctor. 

We weren't the only ones. The waiting room of Kids First was already filled when they opened that morning. Mommies hugging their littles, daddies helping with all of the gear, and babies trying to keep it together. This was our first visit to someone other than our beloved pediatrician in Norman, and I was thankful for them. 

As I looked around the room- I saw the definition of what it truly means to be a mom. On a day meant for "us" it was still really all about the ones that made us the mommies we are. Not one mom looked put out that she had to be there instead of lying in bed getting caught up on sleep or enjoying some fancy meal. They were trying their best to put on their happy face despite whatever they had expected the day to be. And, it was a bit of unexpected beauty.

The diagnosis for the bug: double ear infection and a pretty icky cough to bout. We were sent away with two prescriptions and hopes that relief would kick in soon.

And, despite the unexpected events of the day...a fussy/sick toddler, getting peed on {in an effort to get to the potty on time}, not feeling 100% myself, and some change in plans...I truly did feel celebrated. I was honored with words and a gift from my loves, some sweet kisses and smiles in between the struggles for comfort, and a trip out to a brunch with family and two other special mommies just before the babe {and mama} crashed for nap. 

I am a mommy because of her -just like everyday, and I am learning to roll with the unexpected that comes with it --thanking God everyday for this gift.