If you are a parent, you constantly have fears that surround you about your children and you do the best to block them with your heart- trusting that you are making the right decisions and that it is okay for mistakes to happen.
If you are not a parent, you still have fears about your future- what will come next? is there going to be a job? Did you make the right choice? etc...
And then, for some of you, you may rarely operate in this fashion and you have complete and utter faith or you are just amazingly strong and/or a carefree risk taker.
We have currently fell into another season of waiting. With the decision for me to stay at home came the decision to sell our home to move closer to Adam's job. For any person that has ever tried to sell a home, you know that it means more upkeep of the daily chores and a constant need to be reliant on others' opinions in order to make your next dream a reality.
It has been almost 2 months and after an attempt to sell our home ourselves and some navigating of the ways of the MLS and realtor system- we are still waiting. There have been no personal showings and after an Open House with some traffic- there has yet to be anymore. I keep trying to battle the fears that we won't sell our home, that we won't be able to buy a new one, etc... and trying to find peace in the fact that I know that God has the perfect buyer out there and the perfect place for us. It is just a matter of when. And, that is the hard part- when you have a schedule and there seems to be another one trying to take over.
I battle the fears of the unknown, things changing, relationships operating in different ways, and the other usual suspects that might creep up when you have to move to somewhere new.
Now, we aren't moving states. We aren't even moving to the other side of our state. However, it is just far enough from where we are now for things to be harder than they once were.
But, about a week or so ago, I decided to fight this case of the fears head on--and not alone. At a recent church celebration- two women approached me with words that they felt the Lord had given them to share with me. I know they were from him because these are two women that I am only acquaintances with and rarely see. They are women whom I see in passing and have had only a handful of conversations. They snapped me out of it and later I was led to this gem:
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children...For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. - Romans 8:15-17
I do not want to be a slave to fear anymore. I want to trust his timing in this season. I want to grab hold to the truth and the place that he has put us in at this moment. All things work together for good- and we have seen the evidence of it. Provision is real. Fear is real. But, I want to choose to operate in the reality that freedom and provision are our inheritance. I want that for my family.
And, it is out there for you too- out there for the taking.
And on a side note...so is our house ;) so if you are looking or have a friend that is looking for a place where the University of Oklahoma resides-- let me know, I can hook you up.
Here's a peek: